Deal With Your Travel Envy In Healthy Ways
Let’s just get it out there.. everyone has an opinion about everything and travel is no different. The question becomes: how do we avoid travel envy? (Especially during this pandemic!)
First things first: Let’s take a look at ourselves. You see a blogger or someone you know hopping on a plane to the beach and although you want to go.. you snidely share their post with your friend and talk about how they edited their photo or how they shouldn’t be traveling… Or maybe you’re telling yourself that you have a moral objection to traveling – while you trash talk Becky from the Block for heading to a socially distanced cabin for a weekend? These comments are discouraging and in reality – most-likely baseless. You have no idea what kind of trip Becky’s taking or who she’ll be around or what precautions she took.
Let me be the first to tell you: I have had major jealousy of other people’s travels. I remember thinking that only rich kids got to travel and see the world and that I would never have a part of that life. Then when I started getting questions like:
“It’s not safe for women there.”
“How do you even afford to travel?”
“Do it while you can! Once you have kids you won’t be traveling anymore!”
You know what I realized as soon as I started getting questions like this and snide comments..?
I MADE IT!!!! Lol, I have a life that others are jealous of and that’s the only reason people talk about other people’s travel’s negatively. There is no other reason. I know this because I HAVE DONE IT. So how does one overcome travel envy?
Travel In Your Own City or Country
Regardless of your limitations – there are probably quite a few adventures you can have in your own backyard. And when i say backyard, I mean your town or your country.
If you haven’t heard of it – the concept of micro-adventuring is one of my favorite ways to view trips. Micro-adventures are basically any adventures within 6 hours (half a day’s drive). You don’t have to take time off work, or plan any big packing days. You just need to pack what you need for the day’s advenures. If you have a partner you’re going to go with you – remember than one of you can drive there and one can drive home! (Leave early – come home late.) If you find yourself wantign to adventure more – try doing one mini-adventure a month!
During the pandemic.. things become a little tricky. Out of the country travel is too hard for most people to contemplate and there are A LOT of rules for every different country. However – IF someone you know is travelling locally – don’t judge the situation. Recognize that you really don’t know anything about it or the precautions they’re taking. If you reallly can’t contain your travel envy in seeing other people’s travels – do yourself a favor and unfollow them. ; ) Yes. I said that.
Remember Your Own Travels to avoid travel envy
September is the anniversary of our Italy trip! It’s our goal to every year go-over our photos and memories from the trip with the people we went with. We met the blonde in this photo (M and her boyfriend at a vineyard that was probably one of the best days we ever had! These are the memories you want to remember. Reminiscing helps us not feel so forlorn about being locked in our hometowns.
We’re incredibly grateful we got to go on these trips and we know we’ll go on many more!!
Think about your travels in the same way and it’ll keep you from comparing your travels to other people’s travels. Even small adventures can be more rewarding than other people’s big adventures. I know this for a fact because I’ve been on big trips that were incredibly memorable, and I’ve been on trips that sucked. (Only been to Disney once and it absolutely sucked because of the crazy group I chose to go with. Pick your travel groups wisely lol… a subject for another time!!)
Consider Changing Jobs to avoid travel envy
Seeing everyone out living their best lives may be because of a ridiculously over-curated Instagram feed- but it may also be because they’ve figured out the secret.
The secret is a work-life balance!
Perhaps other people have a job that allows them to travel? If you really want to travel and you never thought you could- consider a career change. Here are a few careers that allow you to travel:
- Teaching English Abroad – You could live somewhere for 6 months and teach English to make money! (Would keep you from having to save like crazy before traveling!)
- Online Translating Jobs – Could be done from anywhere. This one is harder to come by if you don’t speak another language – but in a world that’s more connected than ever – it would probably be a good idea to learn another in general. I know American’s aren’t really taught that it’s necessary to learn another language, but it’s uncommon around the world to not know another language.
- Website and Graphic Design – Start learning coding at FreeCodeCamp.org and you’ll have a new potential career opportunity for an in general ever changing market. The great thing about this option is that more and more people are turning to online sources for information and there are a lot of REALLY bad websites out there. HELLO JOB SECURITY!!!
All of this to say – don’t assume that when other people travel it’s because they don’t have any responsibilities or goals. They just made their goals around what they wanted to do in life.
Tighten Up Your Budget so you can travel more
There are a million things you can do if you set your mind to it and one of them is saving money. Even if it isn’t for travel- there are unnecessary expenses that everyone has. Cable, disposable home goods, eating out too much. We’ve all been there in this glutenous Western culture.
Ev and I realized how much we were eating out and I have to say – It makes me unwell seeing those numbers. But if you don’t know you don’t know. Now that I know though – I’ve made a special effort to cook at home and put more money back into our savings, and not buy junk at the grocery store.
Another big way we save money is by buying things used. From second hand clothes to second hand home decor – we prefer to call it ‘vintage’ and save around 40% on items most people buy strait from the store.
All of this to say – if you’re jealous of someone else’s travels and you’re thinking to yourself that you could never avoid it- the truth is that you could. You just have to want it. Where there is a will -theres a way. (See teaching English abroad section above!)
Focus On Your Dreams instead of your jealousy
What is it that you reallllyy want to? Do you like your job? Do you dream of doing something different? If you want to be living out your dreams and you see someone else living theres – it’s bound to bring about some jealousy. The coronavirus has brought out the worst in us as far as ‘envy’. Even newspapers are writing about it recently:
Essential workers envy those working at home. People who were laid off envy those who werenâ€™t. Those home-schooling young children envy those who arenâ€™t. We all envy the rich. Those studying the topic find the reaction understandable. – The New York Times
If you really want to travel – remember that that’s 100% up to you. You can change your life in a day by applying to a new job or starting a new business. If you have dreams that you’re accomplishing and your life is going somewhere – you’re much less likely to be focusing on other people!
Also keep in mind that the hustle you’re going to have to put in to accomplish those dreams? The person you’re jealous of now has probably already put in the hustle. THAT’S the reason they are where they are now. Not because they have a life you can’t have. There’s a great book out there called The 10X Rule and I think it’s a must read for anyone looking to change their life!
Plan Your Next Trip
The best way to avoid any and all jealousy of what other people are doing is to focus on what you’re doing! This means planning your own trips. If you want to get out and see the world – GO!
Starting a bucket list is the best list and figuring out how where you really want to go are the first steps.
Figuring out transportation, where you’re staying, top attractions in the area. The anticipation of something amazing coming around the bend not only motiavates you to be happy in your own triumphs, but it allows you to be happy for others.
You’ll find a huge community of people out there that love traveling and love finding the best deals. Your circle gets bigger and bigger the more you reach out for recommendations and travel hacks!
‘Mind Ya Business’
In a study from Tilburg University, it was found that some envy an actually have positive benefits.
‘..the experience of benign envy leads to a moving-up motivation aimed at improving oneâ€™s own position’ – Niels van de Ven, Marcel Zeelenberg, and Rik Pieters
The good the bad and the ugly that comes with jealousy is this: it can spur you to do great things as long as it’s in a healthy place. The second you let it get out of hand and you don’t control your emotions – the negativity is going to eat you alive and keep you from accomplishing your dreams.
As a person who didn’t know how to travel until I was well into my 20’s – I’m here to tell you that you can do it too. You just need to want it in a healthy way. Evan, (hubs), is always fond of the saying ‘mind ya business’ and it’s so true. Work in silence towards your goals and let that be your focus.